vacation withdrawals

i just got back from a 3 day cruise to ensenada with my love. i guess it makes sense that upon returning home i have a gaping emptiness in my gut, a clenched jaw and a floor i've swept three times since i got home at 9. i gave myself until the cruise to engage in copious amounts of fuckery, and vowed that upon my return i'd seriously consider 'the plan' for now. i'm pretty serious about this... i called into the hospital and took the next week off, citing 'personal exploration' as the reason; i have to sign another contract by next tues. . . but if this week yields something unrelated to my former plan, then the last year and a half i spent there is irrelevant to what i might end up doing. it's hard not to look back when the c.v. in my hand doesn't match the program or job i apply to. maybe it's the emphasis on 'plan' that is driving me to compulsive sweeping and gardening. i get so swept up (w00t) in it that stepping back (/ going to mexico) makes me realize how meh a dilemma i'm really in right now. i should vacation more often. good thing i took the week off because i'm just gonna start thinking about this tomorrow.


edit:
coming home to the following has made the transition easier... it's still tough though.